i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I am midnight drunk by noon
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
