All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
where am i from again
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
