Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
