So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
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I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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