and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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