I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
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I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
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Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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