im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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