these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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