you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
