I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
