I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
