Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
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