Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
