saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
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Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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