K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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