I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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