I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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