hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
