found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
