you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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