I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
