You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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