I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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