Sry I called you an 8
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
