I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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