sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
