yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Randomize
