And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Your penis caused this!
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
