Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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