its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
