im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
