ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
