I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
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