So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
