i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize