your parents love me but you hate me
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
