I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize