U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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