never play flip cup with pint glasses
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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