I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
