I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize
