C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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