i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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