Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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