Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Randomize
