Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
