is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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