I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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