I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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