There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
