I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
