do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I look excited, but its just a facade.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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