If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
