The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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