Tell her she can't have a vagina
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Dick very happy bro
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Randomize
