just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
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