dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize