i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
