I got chris browned last night
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
