So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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