You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
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We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
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Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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