i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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