Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
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