dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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